Two suspected anticommuters enter the bus in front of me at the Fourth and Jackson Island. The couple, which comprises of a man and woman are attired in country get-ups of plaid over Wrangler denim. The man possesses a colorful banded straw cowboy hat while the woman has a perched high blacked-billed baseball cap with the word, "Fish'n" embroidered along the side. The man carries presumably a long fishing pole within an odd-shaped tight-fitting black-formed pouch. He is of normal to slightly rotund proportion and talks with a glacial creep, much like his "old lady" that precedes him entering the bus with laborious intent. The woman is in no uncertain terms fat beyond belief, what with her ass cheeks the size of beach balls swaying to-and-fro like a gargantuan double-ended pendulum. She takes one step at a time pivoting her legs at the hip joint because of some unclear inability to bend at the knee. It takes her about a full twenty seconds to ascend the platform four stairs high. Her man decides to wait until full clearance of the stairwell is made before ambling upwards. She of course chooses a side-facing row and takes up two and a half seats' width, while the man chooses to sit in the very first front facing row on the same starboard side.
Shortly thereafter, my cataloging of these "important" events is interrupted by a bike messenger that was zigzagging in the middle of the bus corridor that was almost clobbered by the side of the bus as the driver guided the coach to the stop at the corner of Third and Union. The first thing that I notice was that the bus is jerking to a stop in an unnatural manner bordering on whiplash-type conditions.
This incident is followed by the sudden appearance of the bike-messenger by the front door screaming the words, "I WAS HERE FIRST ASSHOLE!!!!"
The driver begins to retort, but before he could get out a complete sentence the bike-messenger pedals abruptly off to continue his zigzagging around shifting public transit vehicles up the corridor.
Meanwhile, the suspected anticommuter couple looks on the scene, remaining firmly in place all the way up to...
...Well I don't know exactly, because I broke my time-honored rule and fell asleep like a nincompoop.
1 comments:
Well, it could be worse. The anti-commuters could have all been messengers zig-zagging through traffic, delaying the bus even longer.
Of course, that would give you more time to sleep.
Then again, the old lady could have really been smuggling beach balls.
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