I thought I caught a glimpse of her yesterday, but it is hard to say. So many things have happened in what one would deem, "many years," but then time is warped. Trains are the way to go these days. Seattle edges day by day into a snarled and inescapable metropolis, spreading outward even when there is no other place to go. So this is it now. Except of course, when there are landslides.
The breeze was constant, until I made my way downstairs into the stillness of the platform. Those waiting are always the same, with a few straggling odds and ends. The scents and smells of the temporary loiterers are strangely less repugnant (than the bus), although the surrounding could be considered opposing. As I am constantly reminded, "beauty is in the eye..." -yeah, you know how it goes. Even still, the conclusion then is that I do not possess it, at least in this particular case. My eyes reflect crumbling pillars of a graffiti facade. Those outer layers exhibit blue, black and green swirling worms depicting puffy typeface. Various refuse littered the tracks as large BNSF locomotives barreled through straining from the mile long weight that followed behind them.
I entered the last car on the right. It was already mostly full. I made my way up the stairs to the second level. The commuters were all spread out like peanut butter on toast. I feigned an intent at one chair directly across from her. She had placed a large shopping bag within the leg space of the rearward seat directly across from her. I am not one to ignore signals, no matter how subtle or insignificant they seem, so I smoothed out my hesitation and walked by in a typical professional way. One row down I sat in the first available seat that faced back toward her and her androgynous companion. I was startled a little at this particular development, honestly.
"So strange" I said, shaking my head.
Why such the lowered joust JB? You always are so belligerent.
"Well, I have been busy, and I am used to things."
You and your excuses. Busy. Like no one else.
"Sarcasm was never your forte you know. You should keep at what you're good at, and nothing more, but perhaps less."
Oh! Who put a pin in your pillow JB? After so long too! I'd hate to come across you everyday.
Is this what has got you in a tizzy? Listen. I have always been here.
You see my dear, you have become one of those "fringe elements," as 'they' say.
'They? -And who would that be?"
Don't you consult that little electronic device every half-minute? Ha!
"I try not to pay attention to idiots, but then, they are hard to avoid when you keep reminding me."
Isn't that how all of this started from the beginning?
"If you say so."
Let me ask you something. For you, it was always the harshness of things that helped. When things go splendidly, you forget about me. Yes? Admit it.
You know it's true. You are the anomaly, the opposite case to everyone else.
"What do you mean by, 'everyone else'?"
What, you think you are the only one? Oh, don't look so defeated JB. It isn't like you didn't already know. After all, you do think of yourself as 'one who enjoys to point out hypocrisy,' so be careful. We all walk the fine line from time to time, and some more than others. I wonder about you though. You hardly tell me anything, anything at all. It's no wonder actually.
Yeah well, just look at what you're reading nowadays! The Provisionals? Really?
"Of course! What choice do you think I have?"
I sure hope you're still around the next time JB. I am worried about you.
"Well, if I don't continue, then I sure as hell won't be, and that is the truth."
Ah, well is well. <i>Such as it is JB. I am here at your choosing. But that deadness you feel, isn't what you think it is. </i>
I just raised my eyes for a mere glimpse, and then shuddered my gaze away. Her companion was starting to glare at me, and she turned away from me, looking down into her shopping bag. The time had changed, or the change skewed the time. The dreams had intertwined with reality and the other way around. It had been confounding and petulant. Next thing I know the tunnel had sloughed away that purchased a harsh blue sky, mountains on the horizon across the steely blue saltwater. Over those the fiery pink to red to purple clouds deepened. Closer and nearer they became, always following.
I reached into my bag and pulled out my book. As I read I am even more convinced of my current course. I looked back up to her seat, but she was gone. In her and her companion's place was a medium-build man with a beard and dark cropped hair reading the content of a computer tablet.